Almost exactly five years ago, on 29 Feb 2020, my world, and our worlds, changed in so many different ways. Dad fell on Ash Wednesday, and I went to Florida to help as needed. The need was far more extensive than I could have imagined. It coincided with the beginning of a pandemic the likes of which we hadn’t seen.
Dad was in the early stages of dementia, and Mom would follow closely behind. They call it the long goodbye, and I can say from experience that I agree with that characterization. I truly feel honored to have experienced those goodbyes. The good days outweighed the difficult. For many reasons, some selfish, I had not been as close to Mom and Dad as I wish I had been in the few years preceding 2020. I was given a chance and an opportunity to make up for that, and I am so blessed to have had Stacey supporting me in realizing that awesome opportunity. Sincerest thank you Stacey. ❤️
Today, I travel back to their special island on Longboat Key to button up and sell the last place they called Home together. I expect it will be emotional, and admit that is at least in part due to my own sentimentality. Some goodbyes are longer than others.
I arrived as the sun was setting over the Gulf of Mexico, and stopped by one of our favorite restaurants to take a picture. The Old Salty Dog was damaged during Hurricane Helene and was closed for several months. But she is back and looking great!
Om Monday morning, I headed to the Sarasota National Cemetery to visit with Dad, Mom and Sean. It is a very peaceful and quiet place to sit and think, and say goodbye again. Back around 2006, Dad drove me out to the site that would become his eventual resting place. It was just empty fields undergoing construction, but Dad knew he wanted to be buried there. In 2008, the Sarasota National Cemetery opened, and we buried three family members there in three consecutive years, beginning with Dad in 2021. Sean followed in 2022, and finally Mom in 2023. I miss them all, but had a nice visit on a beautiful day.
Guess who was in Sarasota for Spring Training coincidentally? You guessed it – my beloved Red Sox! I never miss an opportunity to see them whenever I can, so I headed to Ed Smith stadium, where I found that once again HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL! ⚾️🇺🇸. I watched the Sox take batting practice before taking my seat along the third base line for the National Anthem and first pitch. It was a fun and festive crowd, with almost a many Sox fans as Orioles fans. If you’ve never gotten to a Grapefruit League game, do yourself a favor and put it on your list. There is just something magical to me about Spring Training. The sites and sounds at this gorgeous park definitely lifted my spirits.
I was last here in March of 2021 with Mom right before moving her to Virginia Beach. We sat under cover on the first base line, because Mom was essentially allergic to sunlight! I went over and took a panoramic picture from where we sat. Ack in 2021.
3/10/ 2021. I wore Dad’s old Sox hat to both games!
On the way home to Longboat Key, I stopped to stroll around St Armand’s circle. My Grandmother used to love to take us here to buy something and get an ice cream at Big Olaf’s. In recent years, we have come more for the dining experience, and have become particularly fond of Columbia Restaurant. Their 1905 salad is AMAZING! I just did a lap around the circle, window shopping and people watching while thinking of many fond memories there.
After getting in the car, I decided to call Anne Flinter to see if she had time for a short visit. Anne and Mom met in the Bronx back in the mid 1950s and remained best friends until Mom’s passing. I could never say enough about what Anne meant to our family, particularly in their final years and months on the island. She was a constant presence and source of love and support for both Mom and Dad. Anne was home when I called, and I was able to again thank her for everything in person!
Anne’s back yard in Bay Isles backs up to Mom and Dad’s old back yard on Bayou Way. I drove past for a quick picture. This was a beautiful house, but the stairs became our enemies once Dad lost mobility. My brother Tim and I carried far too many things down those front stairs when moving them out during the pandemic, and I still chuckle when I think of a few choice cuss words we shared with each other while doing so. Tim famously quipped “I never want to do this again!” after one more banged shin. I agreed wholeheartedly while cracking up!
I started my Tuesday with a nice walk on the beach where I only picked up one seashell to bring home. Believe me, there were plenty more, but I decided one was enough on this trip. The beach was largely deserted as the island was still waking up.
After meeting with the lawyer to sign off on the sale of Sutton Place, I headed to the end of the island to have lunch at Mar Vista. They too were damaged by Helene, but are open again and better than ever. I can’t resist the Gulf Coast Chowder, and treated myself to a bowl. The location of this gorgeous place can’t be beat, with chairs literally in the sand a few feet from the water of the bay side of the island. I wished Stacey was with me, but I know we’ll be back. Maybe Tim and Julie will join us next time!🏝️
Back around 1980, we started coming here to visit Grandmother and GrandJock at their beautiful home on Hornblower Lane. During the first visit with the whole family, Sean, Tim and I got to sleep on their boat FANCY FREE moored at a dock on the canal in their back yard. It was truly special. In the evenings, we would all walk across the golf course to the beach to watch the sunset. You can’t do that now, as many more houses with private yards line that beach. You can take that walk away from me, but you can’t take away the memories. After getting married in 1993, Stacey and I spent our Honeymoon in that home on Hornblower Lane. I drove by to see it again after lunch.
I always stop by church to see the memorial plaques and visit the small garden. There is a walk to the water that is quite nice. It is actually the last good walk I had with Dad, and I took one of my favorite pictures of him then. His mobility wasn’t great, so the walk was slow. But it was well worth it, as I still look back on that day with him quite fondly.
I took that walk alone and sat out on the bench to look out at Sarasota Bay, remembering what a good man Dad was.
Longboat Key is about many things for me, but I’d certainly be remiss if I left out the incredible sunsets. They are all spectacular in their own way. I practically had the beach to myself as I settled in to my chair for the last sunset as homeowners on this small piece of paradise on the Gulf of Mexico. I shared this time with the birds and my thoughts. Mom and Dad gave us all a really good life, sharing their joys and dreams with us as we became adults and started sharing the same with the next generations. I took a short video at sunset that I wanted to share. I am more than certain that the three birds you see flying here are Dad, Mom and Sean sharing yet another special goodbye with me. 😍😍😍
And so we close this chapter and we look forward to the next. Home ownership on Longboat Key from a distance has been a challenge for all of us siblings. But the memories are very sweet. I look forward to returning as just a visitor soon. Until then, farewell…
